The Cruel Pandemic, The Covid-19, The Coronavirus, The The passing of my Love

My father, with his siblings and spouse

The last Hari Raya photo we took together. He was holding the phone of our video calling as if we were taking photos together.

His last Hari Raya Korban photo was sent by my sister. He overlooking my siblings preparing the korban that he did for my mom.

My nieces and nephew were lying down beside his bed when he was discharged and cared for at home 

The last photo I had before his passing

My 2nd sister was massaging him while my mom monitoring him

The photo was posted by my 3rd sister who cared for him most of the time when he was admitted to the hospital for about 2 weeks before being discharged.

My 3rd sister showed us that his hand was swollen 

My brother, my sister, my cousin, and her daughter have visited him outside the ward. During the pandemic, only one person was allowed to care for the patient, therefore, they were waiting outside the ward which coincidently my father's bed was just beside this window.

During the daytime, my mom will "Teman" my father

My mom hoped that my father will be recovered soon

The day that my father spent at the hospital

This is the 1st day my father was admitted to the hospital

It was heartbreaking while I typed this. My father is a role model to me and I will never get to be like him. He was a very kind person and never had a bad or negative impression of others, especially his sons-in-law. He always treats all his sons-in-law like his own sons. At the end of his life, I did not manage to hug him, only a video call that could put me through him without him responding to me. I was devastated to see him in that condition. Never had I seen him in that condition, weak and unaware of the surroundings. Never I seen him sick that bad before. What made me more devastated was that my husband didn't even care to know about my late father's condition. He did not even have the initiative to call my mom to console her or even me. 

I should not have expected anything from my husband as the more expectations I have to my husband, the more devastating I felt. I should have just carried on and moved on and been grateful and thankful to Allah for giving me an opportunity to be his wife. Even though my husband may not care much about my father's condition or my mom or my siblings, most importantly, he is still a very responsible husband to me and my daughter.