A Train Ride for A Night in Paris

 In October 2019 I went to Toulouse, France for a conference with my supervisor lecturer. Since it was a lifetime experience of visiting France, I took advantage of this trip to visit the City of Love, Paris.  We took early morning TGV from Toulouse Train station. We walked about 20 mins to the station from our apartment.

Happy in the first-class TGV train from Paris to Toulouse

The facilities provided at the seat 

Doing my work on my seat

Complete with a power socket and reading lightings

Big individual seat

The view from the window was amazing

Passing through the river

At Montparnasse Train Station

In front of the entrance of Montparnasse station

The train station in Toulouse where we took our TGV ride to Paris

This station was under renovation and much ongoing construction work was in progress. Hence, the operation and people's movement in the station were smooth.

The Cruel Pandemic, The Covid-19, The Coronavirus, The The passing of my Love

My father, with his siblings and spouse

The last Hari Raya photo we took together. He was holding the phone of our video calling as if we were taking photos together.

His last Hari Raya Korban photo was sent by my sister. He overlooking my siblings preparing the korban that he did for my mom.

My nieces and nephew were lying down beside his bed when he was discharged and cared for at home 

The last photo I had before his passing

My 2nd sister was massaging him while my mom monitoring him

The photo was posted by my 3rd sister who cared for him most of the time when he was admitted to the hospital for about 2 weeks before being discharged.

My 3rd sister showed us that his hand was swollen 

My brother, my sister, my cousin, and her daughter have visited him outside the ward. During the pandemic, only one person was allowed to care for the patient, therefore, they were waiting outside the ward which coincidently my father's bed was just beside this window.

During the daytime, my mom will "Teman" my father

My mom hoped that my father will be recovered soon

The day that my father spent at the hospital

This is the 1st day my father was admitted to the hospital

It was heartbreaking while I typed this. My father is a role model to me and I will never get to be like him. He was a very kind person and never had a bad or negative impression of others, especially his sons-in-law. He always treats all his sons-in-law like his own sons. At the end of his life, I did not manage to hug him, only a video call that could put me through him without him responding to me. I was devastated to see him in that condition. Never had I seen him in that condition, weak and unaware of the surroundings. Never I seen him sick that bad before. What made me more devastated was that my husband didn't even care to know about my late father's condition. He did not even have the initiative to call my mom to console her or even me. 

I should not have expected anything from my husband as the more expectations I have to my husband, the more devastating I felt. I should have just carried on and moved on and been grateful and thankful to Allah for giving me an opportunity to be his wife. Even though my husband may not care much about my father's condition or my mom or my siblings, most importantly, he is still a very responsible husband to me and my daughter.

Female Staff with Brain Vs Female Empty Cans in the Working World in Vietnam

Ya, probably I am not the right person to write about this topic. However, my more than 10 years of working experience in Malaysia and my passion for business management and administration have encouraged me to write the working scenario that I observed in one of the multinational companies in Vietnam. I was exposed to the local Vietnamese working environment.  As a wife to someone important in a company, once in a while, I had a chance to indirectly contribute my idea to the development of the company with my husband over casual conversation or helping him in his staff engagement program. I managed to organize 3 casual staff engagement programs with the objective of encouraging staff to communicate with foreigners and speak the casual English language. And it's for free.

From the 3 programs that I conducted for the admin, finance, sales, and parts departments, I found that most of the local staff lacked event management and coordinating skills. I remember in the first event, I had prepared the module, and only one staff from HR & admin was helping me to call the participants. She had distributed the invitation, yet no proper itinerary was developed. So I just ran the kind of impromptu cooking session using my self-communication skills to deliver the program without a proper itinerary. Hence, it has encouraged some of the staff to try to speak English and communicate with me. Even though, some have given less cooperation as cooking was not of interest (most of them were from sales).

The 2nd program was on make-up techniques where I invited my close friend to conduct free make-up techniques demo sessions for the admin, finance, and parts department. By this time, the respective staffs were more independent as they managed to come up with the itinerary and some fun activities for the participants. Hence, they lacked attention to the guests who had given teaching for free. I expected the respective staff to give a token to the guest  (my friend), hence the guest was only invited to join the company's party. Nevertheless, it was not a big deal as my friend did not expect anything from what she had given on that day. Thank you so much for that my friend (you know who you are). 

The 3rd program was on make-up techniques demo for the sales team in the other office building. This time the boss was trying hard to prove and show that his selected staff who handled the activity was a very reliable and good performer. Hence, the boss created a group messenger just to assist his appointed respective staff by including me as an advisor in a group to advise the group on what they were supposed to do which the first group had not received. I was a bit annoyed. I found some biased practices where there was favoritism occurred when the boss has more favor with this respective staff (appointed coordinator) as compared to the earlier group coordinator. This can be seen when the 1st and the 2nd groups of coordinators were left working by themselves in order to coordinate the event without close guidance from the respective boss. However, the 3rd group coordinated by the sales group was closely guided by the boss. This can be seen when the boss personally has created a messenger group that includes the appointed coordinator, the boss himself, and me. Hence, the coordinator without any respect has added another favorite associate to the group messenger without identifying a specific task for her. Another, query for me was, when I asked the appointed coordinator what she had done for the preparation for the event, she seemed clueless., and when I taught her about what she was supposed to do, the boss got upset with me and told me that I supposed not to give instruction to her ( I just guiding her on what she supposed to do and not instructing he at all). Hence, the boss, guided the selected coordinator to do what she needed to do. It was weird when in the previous 2 sessions, the coordinators were left unguided and did the coordination by themself (the boss told me that he wanted them to learn by themself). Why must have discrimination in guiding your staff? 

Next, a day before the 3rd event, I came for an inspection and this lady who claimed she had studied English and received English certification couldn't even understand the instructions from her bosses who had listed 10 tasks for her to do and to understand my simple English. Hence, her boss claimed that she was very good at English. I still remember when I asked her about the itinerary, she was blurred, clueless, and didn't understand what the itinerary was. To cover her weaknesses, the boss invited both of us into his room and got us to use Google Translate to translate what I said into Vietnamese. I also remembered that the boss had asked her to show me 10 places in the whole office area to identify which part of the office area would be suitable to be the venue for the event. , yet she only brought me to 2 sites that were the office pantry and one of the meeting rooms. When I asked her where did she plan to have the event, she said either at the pantry or work-station area where people are working. For me, it was such common sense.  When you want to conduct training, you should have a venue that has a training ambiance with learning facilities, not a pantry or workstation. A pantry and workstation are two very unsuitable places to conduct training, seminars, or teaching. I don't understand where she put her common sense. 

Next, I asked her whether she had sent the invitation to the speaker and participants, and yet she had not done anything about it until I had to help her type the invitation to the guest (my friend who delivered the talks for the make-up session). Nevertheless, with the advice from the boss, she managed to arrange gifts to be given to the guests but no activities for the staff. I was pissed off as, during the event, she (the respective staff appointed by the boss) was not acknowledged my help and acted like she was the one who handled everything. Luckily it was me who assisted her, if another outsider it would be shameful to the boss as well as to the company. Hence, I just took it easy as I knew her boss very well and I didn't want her boss to feel ashamed of her lack of quality in managing a very simple event. 

Another example that I can share here (based on my own experience), was when the admin staff fulfilled her task to purchase a covered dustbin by the same boss, however, the quality was not meeting her boss's expectations.  As a staff, she thought she wanted to keep the cost safe for the company, yet this admin staff was scolded in front of me just because of a simple unmet expectation. However, in another situation, the sales admin, who only managed to perform two tasks out of 10 tasks given in front of me did not receive any complaint from the said boss for any of her single underperformed tasks. Wasn't it so biased? It was just clear favoritism that was happening in front of me, yet I couldn't do anything because I was just an outsider. 

Besides, from the experience I had with them, I also got to know that there was a lady who had been hired as a salesperson nearly half a year ago (June or July employment started), yet did not manage to make any single sales and has received closed attention from the same boss. While there was another new staff who had been hired in August has managed to make few sales, yet did not receive good attention from the same boss. The lady who did not perform of course has more physical attraction from other sales staff, and thus the boss has created another task to make her relevant in the company. Such, an unfair working environment 😓😓. 

Another favoritism that I observed in this management was, that the boss had a special assistant so called, a business development executive, which she has to prepare business proposals and do market research.  Hence, this lady was unable to do a simple proposal, hence the boss had to train her personally. In my opinion, when you are hiring someone, you should hire a capable person according to the position's requirements. This will help the company to save the cost. The training may be needed for the improvement process when there are changes in the industry. Why must the boss who is in the highest ranking have to train her personally and have to sit side, face to face in the boss's room just to train her while other staff are not?.  Doesn't the highest-ranking boss only macro manage and focus on strategic planning and company policy in managing the business? rather than micro-manage to the individual that he favored? Isn't a good leader the one who should care about all staff's career development?

I also found that there was a staff who could speak English well and voluntarily taught other local staff who couldn't understand English for free at the office. She was so enthusiastic in performing her task and a very positive person. She always did more than she should. She did work hard to prove she can do work well. At one point in time, the boss gave her the task of surveying an electronic safety box. She then positively asked me whether I knew anywhere in HCMC she could survey the pricing of the safety box, as she knew I lived in HCMC and knew well where to get the safety box. It is very limited for her to just survey in Binh Duong where she lives and works. For her, to be more efficient, she should widen her research to get a better option. To go to HCMC was very distance for her to go alone. Therefore, she arranged with the boss's driver to go to HCMC when the driver picked up the boss in the morning. However, the boss was not happy with her and told me that she was stupid to make such an arrangement. I was surprised, as I would look at her positive action in delivering her task. However, it was not what the boss wanted. Hence, the very kind staff did not receive any reward or even a compliment from the boss. I believe her enthusiasm for her work has trapped her. I heard that she was moved to the sales admin as one of the staff was on maternity leave. As an enthusiastic staff, I believe she will do whatever her superior (the sales manager) has asked her to do.  As an admin staff, do you think she has a choice of not doing what her superior asked her to do?. I believe, her superior had asked her for a company stamp and innocently she gave the company stamp to her superior without the consent of the boss. And the stamp was misused by the superior. That incident made the boss upset and instructed the HR manager to fire her indirectly. In my opinion, the boss should have done an investigation and not just be listening to certain staff that he called his spy.  

Back to the 3 scenarios, I found that the positive sides of the working environment in Vietnam have opened up more opportunities for female workers to participate in the job market in Vietnam. However, most of the human resources especially these female workers who had been hired in the company mostly used their physical attraction to be hired with a lack of skills. For example, the underperforming sales lady that I mentioned earlier has no qualification in business, sales, or marketing but she was recommended by a friend to the lady that the boss favors because she has English certification (yet can't understand English😏), and has a physical attraction, therefore the mentioned sales lady was hired. For me, both the sales admin and the sales lady that the boss favored and received more attention from this particular boss were just empty cans. If the sales lady was hired to become the spy of someone who speaks English, I wonder what she can do if she can't even speak good English. How can she deliver the correct info to the native English-speaking boss when the boss does not understand Vietnamese? So irrelevant right?. I wonder why the boss has to keep her if she did not deliver what she was supposed to and expected to do?

In management, a great leader is someone who will be able to manipulate the talent skills through words of encouragement, vision, and mission. A great leader, will not allow the empty cans to rule him or manipulate him to compromise their lack of skill.  A great leader will not practice favoritism, hence embracing the real talent. He should not embrace the empty cans that later will contribute hassle and problem to him by recreating job descriptions, or redesignating tasks just for those empty can be relevant in the company). A good leader should leverage his attention to all staff's career development and not just to a certain staff that he favors. 

New Norm of 2020

2020 is a year full of tests and uncertainty. The year began with a drastic change of life when COVID-19 took place which had caused by a coronavirus. It was first found in China and spread rapidly and affected throughout the world. Its existence has affected the normal life of an individual and community, as well as the economy of every country in the world. The virus is invisible from the naked eyes yet killing millions of people around the world. It has no mercy to the young and old, rich and poor, white or black, religious or atheist.  It scared many people and some denials had scared themself and others too. All countries closed their borders to foreigners and cocooned their nation from being exposed to outsiders.

We are lucky being in Vietnam as their local has a high awareness of coronavirus effects and thank you to its single government fast action. In order to prevent the spread of the virus, Vietnam's government has taken immediate action by closing its border, close all schools as early as TET's holidays end in March, and built a quarantine center at few army camps. Vietnam's fast prevention action has contained the spread of the virus and diseases in the country. It has the lowest case so far in South East Asia. 

Due to coronavirus and COVID-19, we have yet to enjoy our holiday. We haven't gone back to Malaysia for more than 7 months now. We missed going back to our home country. Before COVID-19 we used to go back to our home country at least once in 4-6 months but now the chances to go back are too slim. Now is summer break, the longest school holiday of each term, and by this time we should have been in Malaysia visiting our parents and parents-in-law, but today after more than a week of summer break holiday, we are still here, in Saigon.

My daughter was on home/ on-line school for more than 3 months starting from March to early May. Schooling for less than a month, she is in summer break holiday and at home again, yet the outbreak of coronavirus seems not to subside in a certain country and Vietnam has gone with zero cases for over 70 days. As the outbreak still continues spreading in certain countries, Vietnam and Malaysia are still closing its border to foreigners. To be safe, we remain to stay in Saigon.

On March 26, the Vietnam government had asked localities across the country to ban the social events, gathering of 10 people and practicing a minimum social distancing of 2 meters between people in public places. Since then I was kept myself at home and had no social gathering with my friends which including my "pengajian" routine. We stocked up groceries as much as possible once we went out shopping, which can last for about 2-3 weeks. Before COVID-19 I used to walk to Taho Dien to An Phu supermarket just to get our Basmati stocks as well as can food that hardly found at the nearest supermarket near to our apartment. But since then, my husband had to do dry groceries shopping at An Phu supermarket as only An Phu supermarket is the nearest supermarket that selling the basmati rice.  

I  had a new routine whenever I went out of our apartment since COVID-19, which is to put on a face mask, long sleeves and long pants, hand gloves, and glasses. I bring hand sanitizer wherever I go and sanitized my hand whenever I touched any surface or goods. I showered and changed as I entered the home after came back from my outing. Some of these practices continued even after the lockdown period was over. 

COVID-19 did change the world, socially, economically, and environmentally. People were not encouraged to shake hands, kiss, hug, and have to keep a social distancing at all the time. The gathering that was a positive gesture to strengthen the family relationship is now not an advisable practice anymore. We are encouraged to be away far from the elderly and babies. Visiting old parents is not a good gesture anymore. A religious gathering like "solat Jumaat" and mass gathering at church or temples is now not a good religious gesture anymore. People are banned to attend to any religious gathering. Somehow, it seems a lesson to us that we should upkeep our hygiene, appreciate the privateness of an individual when we are given to be more contented and focus on our own self-improvement to life and religion, as well as to let the mother earth rest from being bullied by a human with their digging and exploiting the mother earth's resources.

People have a new norm by working at home. That giving more chances to get close with family members at home. It's automatically reducing social gatherings that may include bad and negative aura or gestures from our social networking, hence avoiding us from all negatives habits like talking bad about others, complaining unnecessarily, badmouthing, etc. The period of lockdown can basically teach an individual to find their inner strength, find the meaning of real life, true self- interest and quality and embrace ourselves with a better quality of life self-improvement. Like myself, even though I am a full-time housewife I normally spent many times with my friends at social gatherings and sometimes would bring me to gossiping and talking about unnecessary things. But during COVID-19 we can avoid all those gossips and talk bad about others.  I spent more of my time reading the Quran and Tafsir to improve my tajwid and understand the meaning of the Quran at home. I got more time to learn and do "solat sunat" and "doas". I got more time to spend on my writing and painting. It's a worth lockdown period for self-improvement.

In economic wise, many business were stopped. This, include illegal and bad business practices such as overexploiting the resources( e.g destroying the jungle and nature for development). All these bad practices in business were automatically stopped temporarily. Hence, it is such a blessed when the pandemic had reduced bad practices and activities in the economy. Now, the earth can breathe and live free temporarily from air and water pollution caused by human misuse of natural resources, while humans on the other hand living in a not a normal life. 

How soon can we go back to normal life? No one has the answer for that, but what for sure to us is we have to pray and do to the Almighty Creator to give us the antidote to this invisible enemy.

Hidup Berumahtangga

Ini hanyalah pandangan saya yang datang dari my observation tentang kehidupan berumahtangga orang orang disekeliling saya. Pada saya hidup berumahtangga adalah satu takdir dan challenges. Dalam berumahtangga both husband and wife perlu memainkan peranan masing masing serta lengkap melengkapi kekurangan pasangan. Dulu sebelum saya berkahwin saya pernah rasa kecewa sebab tak ada boyfriend and sometimes I rasa Tuhan unfair to me sebab tak beri I muka yang cantik, keluarga yang berharta dan hidup yang sangat sederhana. Tetapi, selepas mendengar beberapa program Datuk Dr. Fadilah Kamsah, dan mula membaca artikel artikel motivasi di majalah dan surat khabar, fikiran saya mula berubah.

Jodoh pertemuan Allah dah tentukan, namun kita sebagai manusia perlu bersyukur dan berusaha sebab kita tak tahu apa yang Allah dah tentukan untuk kita. Kerja kita dalah berusaha untuk dapatkan apa yang kita mahukan. Jadi kalau kita mahu keluarga yang bahagia kita kena usaha untuk jadikan keluarga kita bahagia. Untuk bahagia, kita kena ada komunikasi, persefahaman, tolak ansur dan saling bantu membantu. Kita bukanlah mahluk yang sempurna dan tiada siapa di dunia ini sempurna. Semua manusia penuh kekurangan, jadi janganlah merasa diri kita lebih dari pasangan kita. Pendekatan yang terbaik adalah sama-sama belajar untuk memenuhi keperluan pasangan masing-masing sesempurna yang boleh. 

Pada saya apabila kita telah berkahwin, institusi perkahwinan itu perlu di jaga dan dikemudikan oleh suami dibantu oleh isteri tanpa perlu melibatkan ibu bapa dalam pengemudian institusi keluarga itu. Pengemudian keluarga oleh suami isteri tanpa penglibatan ibubapa/ mertua bukan bermaksud melupakan jasa mereka atau meninggalkan tanggungjawab kita kepada ibubapa/ mertua kita, tapi ia lebih bermaksud tidak melibatkan ibubapa/mertua didalam keputusan keluarga sendiri atau ketidaksefahaman sesama suami isteri. Jangan biasakan ibubapa/ mertua membuat keputusan untuk dan dalam perancangan suami isteri untuk keluarga anda. 

Ibubapa/mertua juga perlu memberi sokongan dengan tidak mencampuri urusan rumahtangga anak-anak, contohnya keputusan dalam membeli rumah, menghantar anak ke sekolah mana atau keputusan dalam pemilihan kerja. Adalah sangat bahaya bila ibubapa mencampuri urusan rumahtangga anak-anak seolah-olah mereka tidak dihormati sebagai ahli keluarga. Sebagai contoh, seorang ibu membuat keputusan untuk membeli rumah untuk anak lelakinya. Memang ia kelihatan normal seorang ibu rasa bertanggungjawab menjaga kebajikan anaknya, tapi bila si ibu membuat keputusan sendiri tanpa perbincangan dengan anak dan menantu, itu mungkin akan menyebabkan menantu terasa dipinggirkan sedangkan dia sudah menjadi sebahagian keluarga anaknya. Ibu bapa juga kena menghormati menantu sebagai ahli keluarga dan bukannya menganggap menantu sebagai orang luar.

Sebagai suami pula, dia perlu ada pendirian dalam membuat keputusan. Isteri pula, harus redha dengan keputusan suami dan bersyukur dengan apa yang ada. Isteri jangan sesekali berharap sesuatu balasan atas setiap apa dilakukan. Lakukan sesuatu untuk keluarga dengan keikhlasan supaya mendapat berkat dan Allah tahu apa yang kita lakukan dan apa yang ada di dalam hati kita. 

Isteri pula janganlah suka mengambil kesempatan terhadap kesenangan keluarga suami. Isteri, kalau suaminya susah, cubalah bantu apa yang boleh untuk melapangkan suami. Ada saya perhatikan, bila si isteri berkahwin dengan anak seseorang yang berpangkat, dia fikir suaminya senang dan berharap hidupnya senang seperti ibubapa mertuanya sedangkan suaminya hanya bekerja biasa-biasa sahaja. Apabila, apa yang diharapkan daripada suami tidak tertunai, si isteri merasa kesal dan sedih. Kenapa dia berasa kesal? kerana niat perkahwinannya itu salah. Kalau niatnya berkahwin kerana untuk bersama suaminya kerana sayang, pastinya dia mampu menerima keadaan suaminya seadanya. Kerana yang berharta itu pasangan ibubapa mertuanya dan bukan anaknya. Tapi kalau si isteri redha dengan kesusahan  atau kekurangan suami dan berkahwin kerana sayang maka, sesusah mana si suami, si isteri akan setia dan berusaha untuk memperbaiki keadaan yang serba kekurangan. Saya percaya, kalau seorang isteri itu seorang yang positive, redha dan percaya Allah sentiasa ada dengan dia, maka InsyaAllah, akan ada jalan penyelesaian dalam kekusutan rumahtangga dan keberkatan dalam hubungan kekeluargaan.

Bagaimana untuk menjadi seorang yang positive dan selalu bersyukur dan redha?. Caranya, kalau kita kurang agama selalulah dekatkan diri dengan mendengar atau belajar dari pakar pakar motivasi seperti Prof Dr Muhaya, Prof Dr Fadhilah Kamsah dan lain lain lagi. Sebabnya, bila kita mendengar kepada mereka, kita akan terbawa untuk melakukan apa yang diunjurkan. Kepada yang beriman pastinya, beramal dan mendekatkan diri kepada Allah dapat membantu kita menjadi positif. Pengalaman saya sendiri; saya ini bukanlah orang alim, sembahyang pun kadang  tertinggal, apatah lagi amalan amalan sunat , memang sangat kurang. Tapi asbab saya selalu mendengar ceramah Prof Dr Fadhilah Kamsah dan Prof Dr Muhaya, apabila saya dalam kesusahan , saya akan cari Allah dengan banyakkan berdoa dan buat solat hajat untuk mencari penyelesaian dalam setiap permasalahan. Saya percaya Allah akan sentiasa mendengar mahluknya kerana mahluknya tidak sempurna dan Allah akan bantu mahlukNya walau siapapun dia. Alhamdulillah, saya selalu mendapat bantuanNya walaupun saya rasa saya tidak layak untuk terima bantuanNya kerana banyak kekurangan saya dalam memenuhi tuntutanNya. Alhamdulillah. 

Saya juga belajar menjadi positif daripada abah saya sendiri. Saya sangat kagum dengan sifat positif abah saya. Abah saya diuji dengan ujian, dimana menantu-menantunya semua bermasalah, tapi, ayah saya sangat positif. Dia tidak pernah mencampuri urusan rumahtangga kami. Dia hanya memberi nasihat kepada kami (isteri - isteri, kerana adik beradik saya yang berkahwin semua perempuan) supaya bersabar dan berdoa. Dia hanya membantu mana yang dia termampu sahaja apabila kami perlukan tanpa mengganggu urusan dan keputusan menantu-menantunya dalam urusan rumahtangga kami. Kami tahu, walaupun kadang hatinya sedih melihat masalah yang kami (para isteri) hadapi kerana diperlakukan sebegitu , namun doanya terutama doa emak, supaya keadaan rumahtangga kami menjadi baik selalu memberikan kebaikan kepada kami. Alhamdulillah, walaupun kadangkala rumahtangga kami dipukul badai yang pada satu ketika dirasa tak dapat diselamatkan lagi, tetap akhirnya berakhir dengan kebaikan. 

Jadi, dalam permasalahan rumahtangga, kalau suami kurang, isteri tolong tambahkan, kalau isteri kurang, suami tolong tambahkan. Kalau isteri ada kekurangan, suami jangan pandang rendah tapi bantu, suami, kalau ada kekurangan, isteri jangan pandang rendah tapi bantu.

Aku dan Masa Lalu - 1

Aku kadang kadang merasa kalau dapat diputarkan masa ke zaman kanak kanak ku. Menjadi anak pertama mungkin aku adalah bahan eksperimentasi kepada ibu bapa ku untuk belajar menjadi ibu dan bapa. Lebih lebih lagi kepada ibu ku yang waktu mengandungkan aku masih sangat remaja pada aku, iaitu 17 tahun. Namun itu mungkin dikatakan jodoh, dia berkahwin seawal umur 18 tahun dengan bapa ku yang ketika itu berumur 30 tahun . Beza umur mereka 12 tahun. Seawal umur 18 tahun aku masih belajar, tak dapat nak gambar wanita semuda ibuku mengandungkan aku pada waktu itu. Pada umur 18 tahun apa yang aku fikir hanyalah belajar, berkawan dan nak lulus periksa.

Asbab umur ibuku yang sangat muda itu mungkin menyebabkan aku merasakan aku lebih rapat dengan arwah Nenekku. Arwah nenek ku yang banyak mengajar aku sembahyang, berpuasa, adab sopan orang Melayu dan bercerita tentang rasul. Arwah nenek ku seorang mak andam dan agak dikenali di kampung ku. Arwah nenek juga boleh dikatakan independent sebab dia seorang balu dengan 9 orang anak. Dia menjual kopi dari kebun yang ditinggalkan suaminya, mengandam dan berjual hasil kraf untuk menyara kehidupannya anak beranak. Kebetulan ayah aku anak kedua bongsu dan rapat dengan nenek ku sehinggakan ayahku sanggup berpindah duduk bersama nenekku demi menjaga nenek ku . Basically, aku membesar di rumah pusaka peninggalan arwah atuk bersama nenek ku. 

Al maklum, dulu dulu pelajaran kurang diambil perhatian, kedua orang tua ku tidak berpelajaran tinggi tapi ayah seorang yang sangat bertanggungjawab dan komited dengan kerja. Demi menjaga keluarga beliau lebih rela berulang alik dari Banting ke Port Klang selama 32 tahun menghambakan diri bekerja pelabuhan. Ayah ku seorang pemandu kren di Pelabuhan Klang namun kerana komitednya pada kerja beliau akhirnya menjadi trainer jentera di Pelabuhan Klang. Alhamdulillah pendapatan ayah aku lebih baik apabila dia menyertai syarikat swasts berbanding ketika waktu dia bekerja sebagai guru matematik dan di Lembaga Pelabuhan Klang. Namun masa beliau dengan kami sangat terhad maklumlah kerja di pelabuhan ada shift.

Aku selalu menjadikan dia role model sebab dia seorang yang bertanggungjawab dan ada prinsip hidupnya. Pada dia keluarga adalah keutamaan, dan hutang adalah sesuatu yang paling dia akan elakkan. Seingat aku dia tidak pernah berhutang kecuali hutang rumah teres yang dibelinya dengan harga RM30,000 yang dipinjam dari Koperasi LPK. Oleh kerana prinsipnya yang tak suka berhutang maka kehidupan kami sangatlah sederhana namun cukup serba serbinya. Ayah aku juga seorang yang penyayang dan sangat menjaga kebajikan adik beradiknya dan adik beradik ibu aku. Dia banyak membantu adik beradiknya yang mengalami masalah kewangan waima adik beradik dia atau adik beradik ibu ku. Untuk anak anak pula dia membuat potongan gaji untuk simpanan anak anak dan ibu ku di tabung haji. Makanya, semenjak bayi kami adik beradik ada akaun Tabung haji. Duit tulah kami guna untuk sambung belajar. 

Ibu aku pula aku rasakan dia seorang yang manja dan kurang ilmu parenting, maklumlah dia terlalu muda semasa dia berkahwin namun dia bijak dalam mambantu ayahku mencari peluang menambah pendapatan. Dia berjual kuih dan kerepek bagi menambah penadapatan keluarga. Dia juga pandai main kutu. Jadi dapatlah dia membeli barang barang yang dia suka macam barang kemas, pinggan mangkuk , pergi salon dengan duit jualannya tanpa membebankan ayah aku. Cumanya dulu aku selalu berangan untuk punya ibu yang lebih berpelajaran dan berkerjaya sebab pada aku kalau ibu aku berpelajaran dan bekerjaya mungkin mindanya akan lebih terbuka. Jadi perhubungan aku dengan ibu semasa aku kecil tidak serapat hubungan aku dengan nenek ku. Aku lebih appreciate arwah nenek ku dari ibu pada masa aku kecil. Namun ibu banyak berubah kepada yang lebih baik seiring dengan umurnya yang meningkat. Adik adik ku lebih mendapat perhatian bila umur ibu ku semakin meningkat. Namun aku bersyukur sebab ibu seorang yang cantik, lembut dan penyayang. 

Aku pula semasa kecil ku suka berangan untuk menjadi orang yang pandai dan bekerja dipejabat. Jadi sedari kecil aku selalu berusaha menjadi yang terbaik walaupun aku taklah sepandai mana. Aku ingat lagi, umur ku 5 tahun aku dah boleh menghafal ABC samapai Z better dari sepupuku. Aku selalu show off bila berkumpul raya di rumah arwah Atuk ku yang aku dah lancar membaca dariapada sepupu sepupu ku yang lain. Semua pak cik dan makcik ku pun suka dengan aku . Namun aku selalu di ajar untuk merendah diri oleh ibu ku , jadinya bila nak tunjuk talent tu kadang kadang terbantut. 

Yang paling aku masa kecil kecil, mak aku suka mensedondonkan baju raya aku dengan adik ke 2 aku. Masa tu aku sangat sayang pada adik aku yang no 2 tu tapi dia lebih mendapat perhatian semua ahli keluarga kerana sifatnya yang lebih cerita dan banyak banyak cakap dari aku. Dia juga banyak kelebihan, dia ada lesung pipit di kedua belah pipi dan pandai berjalan di hujung jari ala Bellerina. Sifatnya yang ceria lebih cepat menarik perhatian ahli keluarga dariapada aku yang memang dikenali sangat pendiam dan pemalu. Namun aku seorang kakak yang protective. Semasa di sekolah aku suka nak check adik ku sehingga dia berasa kurang selesa. Tapi masa tu aku rasa sangat bertanggungjawab dan bangga menunjukkan aku seorang kakak. Namun masa berlalu, dan berubah, dia bukan lagi adik yang kecil yang perlu dijaga oleh kakaknya lagi. 

Mission for a Change - New Malaysia

Living abroad is an eye-opener for me. When I met other foreigner and asked me where I am from, I will always be wanted to be proudly mentioning that I am from Malaysia due to its fast development, iconic buildings and it's leadership. But since the 1MDB issue has caught the attention of many around the world, I felt embarrassed and always hope there would be no more question about the origin of my country.  Nevertheless, 9 May 2018 has given a hope to many Malaysian that there would be a change in Malaysia's governance. I was also surprised that majority of my fellow friends here in Saigon which the majority are Chinese were really into a spirit to make a change to Malaysia's governance. Many of us we encouraging each other to go back to vote and make a change. And most of us were decided to go back to cast our vote on 9 May 2018. 

9 May 2018 was a historical date for a new Malaysia where Malaysia now is governed by a new government under Pakatan Harapan and the most historical point was when Tun Mahathir was elected and announced as the 7th Prime Minister of Malaysia. He is the key to the glory and the key factor that had pulled the vote of all Malaysians who hungered for a change. I believed without Tun's charisma and capability, other parties would not be able to pull the vote, not even DSAI. Tun Mahathir is the factor that Malaysian united. Malaysians owed him for the sacrifice that he did to save Malaysia from drowning in many economic issues and scandals created by the previous leadership.

Syukur, now Malaysia is in a good leadership and new government that hopefully clean from the corruption issue. I pray that Tun Mahathir and his team would be able to gain continuous support from the rakyat of Malaysia and deliver what they had planned to clean all the mess done by the previous leadership while continually improving and developing Malaysia for a better Malaysia.

Tips for Saving

I learned this tips to save from my father. My father was only a heavy equipment operator in Port Klang but he has the very good financial principles back then, that were :
1. Do saving
2. Never get loan if it is not necessary.

1. Do saving
My father did saving monthly from his salary, not only for him but also for mom and us, the children. Everyone of us (siblings) has a tabung haji account. He will opened an account once we were born, so all the gifts money will be deposited into this account. This account was open for the purpose of education and performing haji for everyone of us. My father made an arrangement with his HR department to make a commitment of contributing RM50 per month for each account that he opened for his children and wife. That means every month our sibling's tabung haji account will have saving of RM50 per month including my mother.

2. Never get loan if it is not necessary.
My father bought all his vehicles (Toyota KE, Honda Accord and motorbike) on cash basis. Therefore he never bought a brand new car as most of the time only used car that he can afforded as he paid cash for it.  He will only bought the car when he has enough saving to buy with cash. He will never agreed with interest rate as for him interest rate was not fair. The only loan that he made was for the single storey terrace house that he bought in mid 80's and the loan was not from the bank but from the Koperasi Pekerja LPK in which has the very low interest rate as compared to banks' interest. From his saving he managed to purchased a land and saviour to the family land which was nearly auctioned by the bank due to the failure of his brother to settle his loan.

These two basic financial principles has taught me to manage my financial commitment. I can't afford to hold on to my father's principles but I use it as a guide. From my point of view as per my experience :

Every working people must :

1. Do saving : Regardless how little is your salary , do saving as little as RM1 per day or RM5 a month. Keep your saving in either Tabung Haji or ASB/ ASN.

2. Do loan that could give return to you : Yes all loan has an interest rate and you have to pay for the interest rate but make sure the loan that you make is for investment such as property , ASB/ASN or vehicle (as this would bring you to work - this is a kind of investment). Never commit yourself for a personal loan or loan for marriage (loan untuk kahwin).

As a Parent :

1. Open an account for your children as early as they were born. Try to make a monthly contribution to your children's account via standing instruction to the bank or salary deduction to their account.

2. Ensure that whatever your kids received cash a gift is deposited to their account.

3. Never encourage your children to do loan. There is trend where parents use their children's name to buy property. Their excuse of buying properties using their children's name is for the future of their grand children, but the fact is they are actually burdened their children with a loan commitment that they may not afford to commit in the future. Should the parent wants to help their children to own a property they can help them by open up a saving account when they were young and use the saving to buy a property in the future. Letting your children to buy property you like and binded them with the big commitment beyond his capability to commit on a monthly settlement is very dangerous and may harm their life. Should the parents are wealthy enough to pass down the inheritance to grandchildren, they first have to ensure that their children have enough capabilities in financial. But this somehow will create unfairness environment as not every child has the same capabilities, as such the burden of commitment of loan that the children may not be equally divided amongst them. This will cause jealousy amongst the siblings. Therefore, it is not advisable to get your children commit to the parents' interest. The parents' obligation is to guide their children manage their financial, not let them involve with loan commitment. The children may looks proud of having parents capable enough to buy luxury properties without they realized the burden that they may have to face if the parents are not around and yet the properties are not solely belong to them. The parents should let their children be independent and be responsible to their financial as it will make them appreciate better for they have and will inherit.

4. Encourage your children to saving at their early age as they will more appreciate rather than in inheriting it.

I thanked my father for his guidance as because of his guidance made me  managed to own 2 cars and used to owned a condominium (I made a lot of profit from selling this condominium) without a single cents help from anyone, not even my father or my husband. Now I am free debts after I sold my condominium and still have my 2 cars. Now I am enjoying interest from my FD and ASB. So instead we pay interest to the bank, now bank is paying interest to me.

This is only my 10 cents opinion, a fulltime housewife.

New Activity for 2018

In the first week of 2018 I have attended a Malaysian Ladies gathering at Lotte Legend Saigon. It was a great event with great and fresh food served at their buffet line. It's worth for money as me as a Muslim for sure was concerned about the food. Their buffet did not disappointed me. With varieties of fresh seafood and vegetarian options, definitely satisfy my taste buds.  

We had so much fun and information sharing over the lunch and one of the lady that I first time met during the event had popped an idea for me to sell "Nasi Lemak". I said "Wow" that's a great idea but deep in my heart said "wooo" Can I do it? that's very tough as I never do cooking for selling as yet. But like Richard Branson said, you will never know until you try. While my mind considering the idea , the other lady, she's actually an Indonesian Chinese married to Malaysian Chinese, supporting the idea and naturally announce it to the lunch group that I can cook Nasi Lemak. At that moment, I had no choice but to accept the idea that I am gonna cook Nasi Lemak and karipap for sale. Yes, my first ever business project here in Saigon. 

So, on the 1 February 2018 has marked as my first day of selling Nasi Lemak and Karipap in Saigon. It will be a new life journey for me here in Saigon.  Let me share some photo of my new attempt to cook for selling.

Household Financial Management by the Housewife

Ever since I became a housewife, I have lost my fixed monthly pay that I earned. However, I am lucky enough as my husband giving me monthly allowance which is not including the household expenses such as groceries, and family entertainment. Even though, the allowance amount is not as much as I earned when I was worked, it is more than enough for me. My husband will bank in my allowance in RM base on current exchange rate.
In the first year we arrived the rate was RM3.60  and  my USD allowance  fluctuate based on the currency rate . What did I do with this amount? As I promised to myself after I started work, I will give my parent pocket money. And before I agreed to quit job and followed my husband to Saigon, I told my husband that I have an obligation to support my parents as my parents are not as fortunate as his. But I never asked specific amount for my allowance. What I wish is just his consideration from him to give me some pocket money, so that I can share and continue share some of my pocket money with my parents. An amount of monthly allowance  is actually  a bonus for me as I can do some saving out of it. Surprisingly,  even though the amount of my allowance is much lower than my salary that I had earned, I did much bigger saving than before.
Ok, first what did I do with my allowance?. The following is the distribution based on my priority:

40%    - for my study. As I am taking Master in Management course and art class.
10%    - will go to my parents
25%    - personal saving
5%      - personal life insurance + my daughter's education & life insurance
2.5%   - my daughter's saving
5%      - sponsoring my brother's uni's expenses
10.5% - credit card and Digi's bill ( normally less as most of the time I only need to pay the Digi's bill as i hardly use my credit card). I always make myself use a debit card as I will only spend as what I have only.
2%       - my personal needs and entertainment.

So, basically I use my allowance based on the priority and will only spend for my personal needs and entertainment should I have balance which is about 2% from my allowance.

For the household my husband has allocated around 20 mill vnd  or around USD900 for household. Normally we will allocate it for the following expenses :

Utilities bills (electric, water, tv subscription , internet)       - 30%
Groceries                                                                               - 40%
Weekend outing & family entertainment                      - 30%

So basically, as housewife, you should not only know how to clean the house and cook but most importantly managing your financial household.

I hope this would benefits other housewife and husband too.

The Sunset View from my Balcony

This photo was taken from the balcony of our new apartment. You can see the Thao Dien area and the red bridge of Ho Chi Minh City. I love the color of the sky and it looks like a painting on a canvas. 

Apartment's Design Facilities and Services from The Perspective of User's / Owner/ Tenant/ Residents/ Housewife

Since I got married I used to live in an apartment or condominium. Frankly, I am not sure what's the difference between condominium and apartment as I knew both are high rise residential buildings. I've been living in a service apartment and was owned one condominium back in Malaysia. Here in Vietnam, we also living in an apartment and hardly heard people mentioned about condominium. In Vietnam the term most heard for residentials are, house, villa, apartment and hut. 

Ok, this writing is actually my opinion about the design, facilities and services of the apartments that I've lived in and I've seen and observed. Back in Malaysia, we currently have what they called it service apartment in Damansara Perdana. When my husband bought the apartment (we just engaged at that time), my thinking was the apartment will be facilitated with services such as in-house cleaning (day-maid) service, laundry service, etc. That time back in 2005, with that price and size of less than 100sqm, I could consider it as a mid range service apartment. This block that we lived in is considered as a commercial block of the residential complex that contained another 2 blocks, that they called it condominium. This mean in this residential complex, it has 2 condominium blocks/buildings and 1 service apartment block/building (this is where we were lived in before we moved to Vietnam. We still live in this apartment when we go back Malaysia during the school holiday).
Back to my expectation, I am expecting those services provided when moved in when its completed. We moved in after my the delivery of my daughter. It was a disappointment when it was not turned out as what I've expected. According to the developer, the meaning of service apartment for this particular building was a commercial building as the address can be used as both commercial and residential, while the condominium address can only be used as residential address. It turned out that we have to pay higher assessment tax as compared to the condominium building. I feel we've been conned as the actual promotion did not reflect the actual scenario. What the..................May be someone professional can be best explained to us about all this. But it was ok to us as long as we have a place to live safely. For your information, our service apartment has no reception counter and we can only pay management fee at the management office where all the building and technical management are stationed. The management office is operated with an office hour 9a.m - 6pm with 1 hour break at 5 days a week with alternate Saturday operation. This means we can only communicate and do transaction during operation hour as mentioned.

But, here in Vietnam, I found that, if you live in a service apartment means that the management of the building will provide a house keeping service and some with laundry service.The normal apartment doesn't has the housekeeping service and normally the management fee is lower than the service apartment's management fee. Besides that, there is no different between the normal residential and commercial residential. Every each of apartment complexes has their own reception counter that serve the residents, regardless it's a service apartment or non service apartment. Basically, it's a part of the facilities provided which included in the management fee without discrimination of types of  apartment you lived in.
In our apartment that currently we are residing (Imperia An Phu Residences, developed half way by Korean developer with a Korean Design), its reception operates as early as 7 a.m and close at 8.00p.m and some will close at 9.00 p.m. The reception is still open during lunch hour (I believed they practice rotation break). This reception counter is specifically will give service to its residents it term of many things such as paying the bills (electric, gas, water, internet as well as tv cabel), arranging transport, posting/delivery of parcel, management of facilities (common hall, recreation room, library, tennis court, gym, etc). This reception counter will receive complains too, e.g resident has lightings or air-cond problems, they would just go to the reception, logged a report and the reception will arrange technical team to inspect and fix it. Should the fixing needs an exterior service, they are willing to arrange for the residents.

In Malaysia, we may only see a reception counter for the selective higher end condominium or exclusive condominium or its a combination of hotel and service apartment. The normal condominium or "service apartment"/ apartment, mostly have no reception counter. Any complain about the facilities will be handled by the management office. This is where the residents can see the chaotic, behaviour of the building manager, where the clerical, vendor and technical came in and out and at the same time serving the customer/ residents, somehow it looks not that professional for me who has been used to be served by a proper channel of residential building management. I am not sure why building managers or building manager service provider unable to provide this proper service to the residents. It is not only our "service apartment" that doesn't have the reception but the condominium I bought also did not have the reception counter for residents. I think, the reception counter is important as it is located away from the management office. This is important as it will develope a gap between the customer to the internal management.
As a resident or user/customer, I would not need and should not know about the internal problem of the building management. The gap also play as the confidentiality safety to the building manager. That's why it is more appropriate to have a reception counter away from the building management office. For me it is inappropriate that the outsider observed or listen to the internal management activities and conversation. Well, I do not know about others, but for me it looks more professional when you have a reception counter away from the management office in order to attend and assist the residents' complain and request. Sometimes I feel weird as most of us know that Malaysia is more developed than Vietnam but in this particularly issue, I found the service and facilities I get in Vietnam is far away better than I get in Malaysia.

Now about the design. I've been living in an apartment that has Korean designed as it was developed by Korean developer and soon will be moving to an apartment developed by local Vietnamese developer. I was living in an apartment developed by local Malaysian developer , had owned a condominium developed by Malaysian developer and has experienced the ambiance of apartment developed by Singaporean developer in Malaysia. Apartment's design of all these apartment did give me different ambiance and feels when I was in it.
Amongst of all apartments that I've experienced in it, I found the Korean designed is one of the best and most practical. Here we are not talking about the quality and workmanship as yet. Here, I am talking about the design in particular.Why I said the Korean design is the most practical? I think the Korean design is the most practical because it take into consideration of the Asian's aesthetic culture, the technology and the practicality. For example, in our current apartment, the layout of the unit has the shoe space.
Mostly in  Asian culture, they will take off shoe prior entering the house, so this apartment has designed a shoe area as you enter the apartment that separates the floor of the interior space. As such you will take off you shoe at the shoe area as you entered the unit but not yet reaching the interior layout such the living room, dining or kitchen area for example. At the shoe area, the built a show cabinet to store shoe that you seldom use and some space for slippers and shoes that you regularly use. This shoe area is lit with dedicated lightings.
Next, this apartment unit has a practical size for each section ( living room, toilet, dining, kitchen, store, laundry, compressor area) that ease the maintenance of each section and comfortable to move. Another point is keyless entrance which very very practical as you only use one access card for the turnstile, the lobby door and the unit door. Without this access card you are unable to have an access even to the complex except the reception counter. Each unit door is using coded door, that means only residents has the individual pass code to access their particular unit. This is very important for safety purposes. This means, 3 layers security check with or without vehicle. In each unit, it is installed with visual inter comm. That means you can see and recognize your expected guest from the inter comm monitor. The inter comm monitor is not only installed at the wall but also at the mini tv installed in the kitchen. This is so practical as the housewife who is busy cooking in the kitchen doesn't has to run and check or open the door of the expected guest from the main inter comm monitor. You may also just press the open button for the door from the toilet if you are in the toilet. The inter comm device installed in the toilet also has etiquette button if you don't want the outsiders listen to the toilet flushing sounds.
Their landscape of common area, kids area and swimming pool area was designed and built practically for recreation, exercise plus kids and disable friendly.

Comparison of Apartments' layout and its facilities:

From a housewife point of view:

Being a Malaysian living abroad would not allow you to own a property but giving me an opportunity to experience living nomad from one apartment to another. It gives me an opportunity to compare the quality and practicality of design and floor plan layout of the apartments that we rent and we owned back in our home country.

From my observation, most of middle to upper level of apartments in HCMC is much more practical in terms of floor layout and safety system as compared to apartments built in KL and P.J. 

I took example  the range of years (2000 - 2010) that the apartments were built. In P.J and Subang (Emerald Perdana (completed end 2004), Perdana View (completed around 2004 - 2006), in Damansara Perdana and Saujana Residency (completed around 2006 -2007) in Subang Jaya).  

1. Intercom System
First, we look into the security system aspect. Both Emerald and Perdana view were equipped with an intercom system (voice only-wall phone) but surprisingly, Saujana Residency that were priced higher than Emerald and Perdana and built lastest than Emerald and Perdana is not equipped with an intercom system. Can't you see the hassle when the guest is coming over?. the guard has to call the owner /residents on their personal mobile to inform and to ensure the guest prior allowing them to enter the building. Comparing to HCMC, all of apartments built within than years range  have been equipped with intercom system. I believed when they built they thought of the possibilities of potential tenants, as their target potential tenant is always expatriate/ foreigners as primary tenants, locals as secondary tenants. As such, all apartments there were equipped with intercom system at least voice type, some with both visual and voice intercom system.

2. Kitchen Layout
Emerald Perdana and Perdana View have a better floor layout better than Saujana Residency as they have better air ventilation where both have kitchen that attached to the drying are which was open , while Saujana does not has a proper drying area, or if they called it drying area, however it was a closed area attached with its closed kitchen. The design only provide a small air window ( is not a window actually) at the drying area. These are the poor element that contribute to poor ventilation in the kitchen area.  Comparing with apartments in HCMC, even though some of apartment do not have drying area (for the design without drying area, normally the dryer will be provided or the washing machine will be placed at the balcony), normally the kitchen is open concept or has a big window for better ventilation. Most apartments in HCMC have open concept kitchen and if it is a closed concept kitchen, it would be attached with an open concept drying area to keep a better ventilation.

3. Reception Area
Emerald Perdana and Saujana Residency, these two apartments do have reception area or lobby area. Their lobby area are nice and spacious but unfortunately not being full utilized for the benefits of the residents. I hardly see apartment's lobby has seats and reception counter in KL, P.J, Shah Alam and Penang.Badly design, Perdana View doesn't has proper reception area at all. Most of residents of apartments in P.J,Shah Alam, K.L and Penang have to pay bills themselves via online, post office or service provider counter. Maybe in the service apartment there is a reception counter that could accept payments of utilities bills for its residents but so far I never encounter any as yet in Malaysia. In Malaysia, most of the time residents pay their service charge at the management office which is serve as service counter and building facilities management office as well. Here, in HCMC most of the lobby would at least has a chair or sofa for its residents to sit while waiting and most importantly each apartment has at least one small reception counter to give service to residents. Some of the reception counter can accept all utilities bills to ease their foreign residents. And most of the time the management office for the building is located away from the reception counter. This is important as it doesn't mix the customer service operation and building facilities operation. As a resident would you care to think about the building's operation?. I just care where to pay the bills and service charge and I don't like to be bothered by other staffs' conversation behind the service counter.

For this posting, I think it is enough to give some comparison as I am not the expert to analyse. It just an opinion that come from an observation of a housewife who spend most of the time at home.